Day 4

 So, I do not understand why do we start with "so", like what "so", so nothing, so what has happened, as if something unreal has just transpired, but nothing has actually. 

So today is Parth's birthday, and at first I forgot to wish him, like he's one of my closest here, yet I do not why I did so, maybe I am not a good friend, yes I am not a good friend. Like I am so into myself that forget some important events of others, like birthdays and I do not even consider wishing, I find it to be over-hyped, but it's fine. I guess putting some work on yourself and ignoring others for that while makes sense, but this does not apply to me, maybe I am a dick to my friends. I am too self centered. I don't know, I guess a reality check from someone, but that means, I need to have friends who are there with me without any expectations. 

I heard weekend, and it's relatable, trust me I fucked up so many people, I realized; some directly and for some I took some small actions which ended up having big blast. Weekend is nice. 

I wanna write about a person here, but am too scared what if someone reads about one and then fucks me up, I am scared though it's nice. Like seriously, having someone without any emotions attached and yet you care about one, it's nice. 

Also I am going to Bangalore, without anyone(most prob), I wanna go there and live there alone and see and explore the offices and look how it is there. let's see what's it like. Kanye hits different. 

I am trying to stop smoking, I really have to or else I'll die. I guess it's time that I unleash the secret weapon, called ghosting and determination. 

I will study.